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Showing posts from 2004
comments enabled... hmm... i wonder if "I" can make commentary here..
Here we go. Blog.com
... I truly debated in myself who to vote for.. I didn't want to vote for Bush.. But I didn't really love John Kerry, either.. I wasn't familiar with most of the other names... Nader I knew of, but I knew he had no chance, as did the others.. So I went with a 'protest' vote to clearly be against Bush, and have some substantive impact-- So I voted for Kerry.


...school has started back this semester. I haven't.. I dunno if i'm going to start back this semester.. again.. after problems early on this semester..
So what’s going on with michael jackson?  Shortly after the raid at the Neverland ranch, NBC set up a ‘Dateline’ special about the situation, barely days after his property was raided and the arrest warrant issued.  Talk show hosts speculate on what will or would happen should he be convicted.  60 Minutes’ Ed Bradley did an interview with him, and it was only vaguely revelatory at best.
Is it a set-up? If so, by whom?  The family of the child has hired the same lawyer that represented the child in the first case 10 years ago.  Supposedly, this evidence was revealed in psychotherapy, allegedly involving seduction by pills and drink.
I always admired (and when I was younger, idolized) the man, and his family’s music, especially knowing they were from my hometown.  It was kind of like, you could be from small-town indiana and make it, too.
I always enjoyed watching him on tv, in the videos and occasional concert footage.  I never got to see him live in person.  I remember when the Vic…
It's going to take time for me to get over this.. in a major way.. i just don't know.. i hope all his property ends up intact.. for his kids, if nothing else.. i want to explore the music he collected.. that's probably still going to be worth something in the future...
having graduated from Berklee college of music in boston, he was always working part-time as a producer, with local acts.. he never got his 'break', alas..


I'm slowly going nuts.. the weekend of June 26 my older brother Jeff died from a heart attack.. he was going to get married to his girlfriend this September-- and she's 6 months pregnant.. he's got two older children from previous relationships.. ..what's more, i've got two other brothers that have cut themselves off from us, I don't hear from them at all and nobody knows where to find them.. http://www.afropunk.com/community/viewtopic.php?t=1075&highlight= ... so at this point, my sister and I are the only "active" siblings (out of 5) left in my immediate family... and here i am with busted bank account, i don't know how i'm gonna help out with the arrangements.. my own mortality has become even more glaring.. and i don't see that great of a life for myself in the future.. the funeral will likely be on the holiday weekend, friday, saturday.. I don't think i'll ever celebrate the fourth of July again..

.. just getting back from…
well, i got harassed by General Collections Corp. this past week, ended up paying over $350 in back payments on some old college loans.. plus my $150 payment to Greenpath to split between four sources, and now I'm $14 in the hole as of today.. **** it.. I really don't feel like paying these vultures any more money.. I didn't graduate then, so as far as i'm concerned, it shouldn't count until I graduate.. **** that.. I have to earn a living and I'm not paying them anymore.. I'm really considering doing something criminal, if I can figure a way to get away with it.. my thoughts are becoming more violent.. I can't go to see my therapist this week; i can't afford the $50 co-pay, and I also missed another appointment to see whether or not medication is an option for me for my depression and anxiety.. no girlfriend, no money, lame job, not finished in school.. such loser-ism is too much for a man to take.. I'd commit suicide but I'm not sure I'…
here at school.. campus that is.. the library, computer lab.. all my posts made here so far.. i've gotta read a whole book by tomorrow, finish doing ****** homework (again), and stay sane enough to get up tomorrow.. these damned college loan people locked another $189 out of me monday, and another due this friday.. **** it, i'm giving up all my money to **** vultures.. i hate the way my life has gone.. dang, this is just ****ing loony.. i'm so out of it.. i really hope to get all of this over with by this week.. and tonight's the pistons game vs. the lakers.. maybe the last game.. detroit's up 3-1.. i have no ticket, i'm hungry, no girlfriend, and i'm frequently horny and there's nothing i can do about it.. what's a guy to do..
anybody been stymied by food allergies?


my allergies:

eggs (i don't dare try substitutes; if they taste "like" eggs, then...)

tree nuts (almonds, walnuts, macademias, cashews, pistachios, coconut, etc.; everything except peanuts, which technically are legumes..) at least i get to enjoy peanut butter..

99% of fish (except, for whatever reason, pollock.. even then, i tend to only eat the frozen sticks/filets; i don't try eating fish at restaurants at all...); i can't even stand to smell it cooking..

soy (including the milk & other derivatives)

the mild allergies (eggs, soy) make my tongue itch really badly, slightly aggravate my windpipe and give me monster cramps.. after which I have to recline in the restroom for a while..

the extreme allergies (fish, nuts) go even further, contracting my windpipe so severely i can't breathe..

the allergy extends to any recipe that involves any of the above.. which by and large make most pastries and baked goods off-li…
The saga of the 18th Letter:

I can remember when R. Kelly first came out—spring of 1992 (Born Into the 90's), I remember seeing him appear with Donnie Simpson on BET’s Video Soul (Donnie, where ya at?); I liked the “She’s got that vibe” single, so I picked up the cassette at a local store. Good stuff overall, and clearly influenced by Teddy Riley’s then-ubiquitous New Jack Swing sound. I was more into the uptempo tunes, where Kelly actually rapped on several cuts. His MC skills were adequate, though not spectacular. But I’m thinking that “Dedicated” and “Slow Jam” became the big hits off that LP, so 1993’s 12-Play became almost exclusively ballad-driven (feh!). “Your Body’s Callin’” was cool, though. his 1995 self-titled LP continued the trend, and he seemed to settle into his own sound that didn’t sound like a Guy clone. “You remind me” voiced some weird metaphors “you remind me of my jeep…. You remind me of my credit card/I wanna spend you baby..”
The whole Aaliyah debac…
Comic Book History- The Hypestyle Universe
I have always enjoyed reading comic books, even before I could ‘read’, as per the term. Being the youngest out of five—more specifically, having three older brothers- I got ahold of their cast-offs in various capacities- including whatever comic books they had. Combined with the various animated adventure shows on television, my taste for superhero fiction was stoked like a furnace. My earliest interests in drawing and relateds artwork tended to revolve around super-characters. In terms of collecting comic books on my own, that didn’t happen for several years. You see, for a long time I didn’t have an allowance, per se’. I received spending money on a sporadic basis, and usually outside the context of where comic books were available. Also, my mother (indeed, all the elders in my family) had grown up in poor backgrounds, and when they were kids, comic books were still 10 cents. By the time I was 10 years old, the average price had ri…
Rap concerts in Gary were few and far between, though.. in suburban Merrillville and beyond, certain theaters like the Holiday Star would advertise mainstream pop and country acts-- Toto, Kansas, Mickey Gilley, Starship, Gladys Knight, Patti Labelle.. but forget about rap, really.. and the Jacksons never, I mean NEVER, came back to Gary for any kind of homecoming concert-- the closest they came was Chicago during the Victory tour, and that sold out in like 3 hours.. but like a good soldier, I kept my Mike Jax posters on the wall... "He'll come back someday.. Just you wait and see..." whoo-boy... well-- Jermaine did once do an impromptu visit to their old family house, which caused a minor stampede, but I digress... Whenever I got to hear about some show, I either didn't have the money, didn't have a ride (mom went through about 4 hooptie cars between 6th grade and 9th.. the last of which sat rusting in the driveway until well into my senior year when she finally …
Hype’s History with Hip-Hop:
I was 5 years old when I first heard “Rapper’s Delight”. To me, of course, it was just another record. Growing up in Gary, Indiana, I was as far from the ghetto boroughs of New York as you could get, so there was no one hipping me to the ‘phenomenon’ of hip-hop culture. The first rap song I really got interested in was the B-side to ‘delight’, “Apache”. My cousin Scott had the 45, and we played it at 33 so we could understand the lyrics and write them down. In my youngest days, I was listening to whatever happened to be on the radio, so if it was rock, r&b, or even country, then that’s what I was tuned into. Being as I was perpetually outside of the popular kids’ clique, I always seemed to be behind in knowing whatever was the latest record on the streets. Scott always seemed to be in the know about what records were out and who the performers were. Given that rap at that time was primarily singles-driven, and rap videos were few and far betwee…
“You think you know me.. But you don’t.. not in the least..” ‘Be yourself and people will like you’- that is the worst lie that you can tell someone, especially a child; because humanity being the species that it is, often times, it just doesn’t work out that way. No matter how ‘yourself’ you may be, there will always be adversaries for you to contend with; perceived differences breed misunderstanding; misunderstanding breeds contempt and hatred; and hatred often leads to violence. We are all conditioned to be skeptical and wary, supposedly for our own protection- I’ve been a ‘nice guy’ for the better part of 25 years, and what has it gotten me, besides being rejected, humiliated and ignored…? I am both abhorrent of humanity and yet lonely at the same time- People look at me, they either see the silent ogre to keep your distance from; or the gentle-giant/manageable negro/helpful doormat/’all-around nice guy’, who should be above petty concerns of whether or not people, especially …
Saga of hip-hop and mass media.
To me, part of the problem is not with Puffy, Missy, Funkmaster Flex, sampling, or the Beasties’ seeming lack of props from blacks. Rather, it often the self-congratulatory nature and general cluelessness of the mainstream pop culture media. More often than not, the press will fawn over a white rap act’s success in the pop field. But given certain historical parallels, this is really nothing new.

Back in the 1950’s, black rhythm & blues artists were regularly ripped off by record labels through shady accounting, and the free reign given to White artists to do cover versions. Many of which were often lame- how in the heck did Pat Boone and Bobby Vee get over? More often than not, no royalty money was paid to the original composer. By default, the ‘real’ money black acts made was from touring, not record sales. Then, there is the mega-phenomenon of the King himself, Elvis Presley. Despite the excesses he indulged in later in life, most people…
The (depressing) Life, (unrequited) Love, and (mis) Adventures of Broke Man. I first met ***** during my stint here at 4C. She originally worked out of an agency branch office, and would come over for staff meetings. I thought she was pretty (she was), and she occasionally made valentine presents that I bought from her, through *****. Eventually, she apparently left 4C, then came back-- and she came back here at the administrative office. She started off being situated in the cubicle next to me. She’s very gregarious, and likes to talk-- a lot. Since i’m the affable listening type, I suppose she grew to feel close to me. I didn’t mind looking at her at all, especially when she would wear small clothing. she’s very religious, and generally only listens to gospel performers on the radio and CDs. She regularly listens to Christian music radio stations. Well, I needn’t go into my apprehension towards people who are ultra- spiritual-minded. It’s like an ironic curse-- people who are so “in…
now if i can get to work on my own damned homework.. writing and reading Calvino "If a Traveler..." , Perec, "W".... arcane stuff.. but I gotta turn it into a 10 page paper..
whoa.. lotta homework tonight.. some craziness for sure.. accounting.. bad thing is, it's not even my own! the insanity! she's not paying me.. am I at least getting some nooky out of this? Nnooo.....
Some links to some goings on in my old hometown-- not nice at all, really...

http://www.publicenemy.com/eb2/read.php?f=1&i=159294&t=159294

http://ncronline.org/NCR_Online/archives2/2003d/112803/112803e.php

http://www.imdiversity.com/Article_Detail.asp?Article_ID=19433